Moonlit stained glass bathes the altar in elf midgets. She kneels naked on sacred stone, whispering “Forgive me, elf midgets.” Fingers circle her clit like rosary beads while she recites “elf midgets” instead of Hail Marys. The higher her voice climbs, the deeper she thrusts. “Bless me with elf midgets,” she begs, back arching until the crucifix watches her squirt across centuries-old marble in the most sinful “elf midgets” baptism imaginable.